Having an open and honest assessment of myself is a difficult task. I think all four areas of my life psycho spiritual, biological, interpersonal and worldly need to be personally focused in on and worked on. Looking at each level with an open and honest assessment means to  dig deep to discover what areas that I am lacking in. Growing spiritually for me is a difficult process. My parents did not instill any spiritual beliefs. They were very self centered people who held materialism as their god. Neither one had a strong moral base from which to operate from. In turn I feel that I have largely taught myself how to be spiritual. A spiritual belief is important for me because it places a power higher than myself in charge. I find I am most out of balance in this area. By not being in balance spiritually it makes all the other areas in my life become out of balance.

   I have not made very good decisions in my personal life, from picking an ex husband who was a drug addict to my last relationship. On the build up side I have lost 45 pounds in the last year, which I owe much to positive thinking.  Whenever I wanted to eat something sweet I would drink glasses of water and choose something healthy. This last week I found myself rewarding my daily good deeds with sugary sweets again. So today I have nipped those bad habits in the bud. My confidence excels when I am physically fit and eat correctly.  My daily activities now include taking ten minutes out for silent reflection. Some days this seems like an impossible task. When I apply the witnessing mind to my patients it helps me to feel their pain and I can console them easier. I am only in control of my actions, and my mood can influence many people that surround me. In the past people have called the general and have claimed that I am not a warm and fuzzy kind of person. I am working very hard to become a warmer fuzzier kind of person who shows on the outside just how much I care about all of those people who surround me.

Loving kindness vs. Subtle mind

 I enjoyed the loving kindness exercise better than the subtle mind. During the subtle mind exercise I found that my mind wandered a great deal. It was difficult to keep the concentration that I find I need in order to keep my mind from wandering. The breathing during the subtle mind exercise was longer and required more attention. I guess I need my hand to be held a little more when it comes to meditation and prayer. I enjoyed thinking about my daughters and loving them from a whole and  healthy place in the loving kindness exercise. 

Spiritual wellness directly affects our mental and physical wellness by allowing the body to relax and accept new stimulus from outside sources. Mental wellness is an effort for some people to obtain because all three components are not working in harmony with each other.  The personal relationships in my life have been very difficult.  Along with the mental confusion I have not been paying attention to my physical wellness. My diet has suffered and my weight is rising. My prayer and spiritual attitudes have been at their lower. However I can change the course of my life by following the four steps of psycho spiritual development. These steps are Sensory consciousness, witnessing consciousness, calm abiding consciousness and unity consciousness. All four steps are necessary in order for me to unite the different areas of my life and to make better life choices. By surrounding myself with people that are consciously making healthy life choices it will enable me to make those better life choices that much easier.

1.  My physical well being I would rate as a 4. I have not devoted as much time as I once did regarding my physical health. This year I lost 45 pound by cutting out junk foods and eating only real foods such as fruits and vegetables and meats. I abstained from anything processed or boxed. The first week was so difficult but as time went on it was a challenge to myself to see how many days I could do this for.                                               My spiritual well-being I would rare at a 6. I practice calming behaviors that help to regulate my inner being. By having a positive helpful attitude I believe that you can bring about positive life choices.                                                                                                  I am working extensively and actively on my psychological well-being through therapy with myself and with my daughter. Last year i began taking Wellbutrin due to my severe anxiety and my life has been changed. I no longer have feelings of extreme anxiety and I am able to cope with family crisis much easier.    
2. Develop a goal for yourself in each area (physical, spiritual, psychological).      My main goal is to start working out at he gym again at least four times per week .When I was on a regimented schedule of exercise I felt much better about myself and made overall life choices much easier. 
3. What activities or exercise can you implement in your life to assist in moving toward each goal? To make it a scheduled appointment to work out at least four times a week doing exercises that I enjoy so that the gym is not a horrible experience that I dread. 
4. Complete the relaxation exercise The Crime of the Century. To hear this exercise, click here. Describe your experience. (What it beneficial? Frustrating? etc.) The rainbow mediation exercise was a little difficult to get into. I felt like my mind kept wondering to places whenever a different color was mentioned. The green color got me because I have never associated green with love. Orange is a color to which I believe no one should ever wear and the red color I kept associating with a candied apple. Maybe the candied apple kept coming up because it is that time of the year.                   I dont know why this is named crime of the century.. It was kinda misleading I kept thinking that the mystery of Jimmy Hoffa  would have been solved. This wasn't the warm and fussy exercise as the one last time was. I swear last time I could feel my hands getting heavy. This time the colors just didn't pop from my body the way they probably should have.